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The Kiss… Episode 158

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{Loving him with all his flaws.}
I just wanted to collect the rest of me left after I left the scene. There is a party at the frat I could attend but it’s no more like before. I don’t get moved or excited by those parties like I used to anymore. It bores me and remembering all the ladies with bright red colored lipsticks make me cringe, make my stomach churn and I get headaches. Those girls are so horrible and gross. I regret ever laying a finger on some of them. Fuck!
I drove the two hours to the cabin and parked my car at the roadside instead of driving into the woods. As I walked, I kicked my foot at the gravels that meet my boots.
Mariana has finally made this clear to me. Even if we can’t live as couples, she could just come home or go to her parent’s place. Why did she have to go meet up with that bastard?
He held her. His hands touched her and they were so fucking close. How dare both of them? And that bastard, I’m more surprised and disappointed at myself for letting him go scot-free but that’s okay. He will get it from me anytime any day from this day on.
Mariana is mine even if she’s not with me or doesn’t want me anymore. Nobody touches what is mine.
As I walked, I heard light footsteps behind me. I stopped and it also stopped. I began to walk again and it came again. Someone is stalking. Who could it be?
I turned around and saw in time the person turn and began to walk in a different direction. It was a girl.
I go back to walking and heard the footsteps again.
“Why the hell are you following me? Who are you?” I turned and caught her right behind me.
Her gaze fell on her toes as her dark hair fell at the side of her face like a waterfall. She looks innocent. What is a girl like her doing in these woods at six in the evening?
” The fuck will you talk to me?”
She raised her head slowly and my breath caught when my eyes hit her beautiful round face. Full lips and innocent eyes. Her petite form was clad in a loose flowery dress.
Her looks are so virginal.
“It’s nothing. I just feel like following you.”
“Huh? Are you mad or something?” Is she not afraid of me?
She shook her head.
“Well, then you’re caught now. Please don’t follow me.” For once I thought it was a ghost.
“You were scared weren’t you?” She smiled.
” How’s that your problem? I wasn’t.” I began to walk and she walked by me. I eyed her to stop her but she just shrugged and continued.
“Lies.” She muttered.
“I’m not lying. I was just curious to know the crazy creep following me.”
“Okay, but how did you get here yourself?”
How does that concern her?
“Me? There is a cabin not far from where I’m going.”
“You live here? I’ve never seen you before.”
“Will you cut all the questions? You’re so nosy. Why will you be asking so much about a stranger?” I quickened my steps.
“Well because I don’t see you as a stranger and your appearance doesn’t move me.”
“It better move you.”
She chuckled and increased her steps to catch up with me.
“It’s not safe to follow a guy at this time of the night in a goddamn wood young lady.”
“I don’t mind. You don’t look like someone who will harass me.”
“So why are you following me?”
“We can be friends.”
My steps halted and I faced her. “I don’t want to be friends with you.”
“Just like that?”
What does she mean? Oh, these stupid girls. She can’t be liking me right? Before she starts let me tell her first that I’m not single though it seems I am.
“Look, I have a wife.”
“Wife?” She burst into laughter.
I shook my head and start to walk.
“Where’s your ring?”
“One does not need to wear to a ring to show that he or she is married.”
“It’s solid proof and it counts a lot. You should get some if you’re indeed married.”
Will I ever wear that band? If this nosy lady was not following me, I would’ve raised my hand to check if it will fit me.
“So please answer my question. Do you live here?”
I looked at her and she gave me puppy eyes and muttered ‘please.’
I wonder why people like Mariana like to know so much about people.
“I don’t live here but I do come occasionally.”
“Why do you care to know? What’s your problem?”
“Don’t be rude. You should ask me this. “So you live here right?” She touched my arm and looked up at me with a smile.
I swat her hand away and a smile stole its way to my face but I hid it away. “ok, so you live here right?”
“Yes, we moved in a month ago.” She answered happily.
“We?” Now I’m curious.
“Yes, I live with my parents.”
“They must be old fashioned then.”
“Also part but largely, they prefer simple lifestyle and not fancy things.”
“Okay.” It’s good to know some people and I share the same mind. I don’t know why Mariana doesn’t understand this part of me. Okay, she does believe that I’m not into fancy things but doesn’t believe that I didn’t help my father. It looks like it but I didn’t.
“My name is Ciara.”
Did I ask her? I hope she doesn’t expect that I will mention my name too.
“Okay, Kiara.”
“What I said was Ciara.”
“Whatever. That’s my cabin there. It’s time for us to go our separate ways.”
“Wait. Your cabin? As in you own it?”
I rolled my eyes and fetched my keys from my pocket. “You should go before your parents come looking for you.”
The least I want now is some angry parents storming my cabin to accuse me of messing with their daughter. It’s not going to be pretty.
“They won’t come. I’m nineteen and I told them that I’m going for a walk.”
“But I don’t want you around me so fuck off.”
“Why? Your girlfriend will get mad?”
“Go please!” I yelled. She’s starting to annoy me just like Mariana does.
“Okay calm down. Just tell me your name and I will go.”
“Donovan. Now leave!” I put the key into the hole and with a turn, I opened it.
“Nice name.” She giggled but didn’t go.
“Which part of ‘leave’ do you not understand?” I hold the metallic knob about to get in.
“Where’s your girlfriend or is it your wife? It’s Valentine today. Don’t you think you should be spending time with her instead of coming here alone? What’s wrong are you two fighting?”
“Why should I tell you anything?” I closed the door back and stood facing her with my hands folded over my chest.
“A problem shared is half solved. Who knows.”
“I won’t say anything to you. You’re a jobless meddler.”
“I don’t care. Come with me.” She ran towards the lake and kicked her shoes off. “If you don’t come then I’m going to throw myself into the lake.”
“Not like I care.”
“Okay. I’m diving and I don’t even know how to swim.”
“Are you out of your mind?”
“Are you coming?”
“Yes fine.” I ran to her.
She sat on the deck and dropped her feet into the water. “It’s warm. You should have a try.”
“Is it?”
I got my boots off and sat beside her. She was right. The water was warm.
“So what happened between you two? Was it your fault?”
I glanced at her for a moment and looked away. I’ve never done this before. Should I tell her? Maybe I can.
” Long story short. She broke up with me and then we got married. I really love her but today I saw her with someone else. I couldn’t take it so I came here and met a nosy parrot like you.”
She laughed. “This summary is not clear. Please help me to understand.”
“You’re dumb. What did you study?.”
“Zoology.” She chuckled.
“No wonder.” I smiled.
“I bought this cabin months ago before we started dating. I even bought it because of her because I’ve always loved her and I see myself with her here. All I wanted is to have it in our name but then a bastard thought it was nice to replace the documents she was supposed to sign and being a dumbo for the first time, I didn’t read before giving it to her and she also didn’t read because that woman trusted me. She ends up transferring almost all her father’s properties which were transferred in her name to that scoundrel. She broke up with me and the scoundrel said, to return everything, we have to get married for a year. We got married yesterday and today I saw her with someone else.” I looked at her, expecting to see her laughing at me but she wasn’t.
“She didn’t trust you? Why? and why will the scoundrel do that?” She asked.
“The scoundrel is related to me and has a bad history with her family so she thinks I’m working with him to get back at her family. It’s all false but the bastard made it look so real. Even if she trusted me, she couldn’t overlook that.”
“Then you won’t blame her for what she did because if I were in her shoes, I would’ve reacted the same way because you presented those documents for her to sign. What should she make of that?”
“Are you taking sides? I thought you just wanted to listen.”
“I’m listening but you can’t prevent me from stating my opinion.”
“Okay. Even if she won’t trust me, she shouldn’t have left me. We could work it together and I could’ve earned her trust back. She’s stubborn and just wants me to suffer because she knows I couldn’t leave without her and she has succeeded.”
“And you still love her?”
“With everything in me.”
“She’ll come back. I think her love for her family is what is pulling her away from you. Give her some time.”
“Time? I’m running out of it. Every second is so precious. I won’t survive if she doesn’t come back quickly. I’m even scared that she actually doesn’t love me anymore. If that is the case… then I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself.”
“I don’t know you’re an emotional freak. You look hard but now you’re soft and broken, weak.”
“Shut up!”
“I won’t. I will say you shouldn’t give up on her. I know it’s painful and at the same time difficult but you just have to take things slow and be tolerant. Try to be nice always. I know you’re not always nice but you can put more effort into that and she will come naturally. What I see is that you both are not at fault at all. You’re just a victim of what happened and she is the center of it. Just don’t jump into conclusions too quickly. Be understanding and patient even if things are not in your favor. Break your silly egos also if you have any. It will go a long way.”
“Good speech and lecture.” Mariana is good at giving lectures and speeches as well.
“It doesn’t matter how well the lecture or speech is delivered. If the student doesn’t take it to heart and learn, then it will be meaningless and that lecture won’t be considered a good one even though the lecturer tried. It didn’t make the necessary impact.”
“Are you a teacher?” I thought it’s only my girl who’s good at giving nice speeches.
“No. Why?”
I took a minute to examine her features in the dark. It was hard but I figured some things like her dark hair and her face just like Mariana’s. She was wearing something I can only see Mariana wear. And her innocence. They have so much in common. Why’s it possible?
“You look so much like someone I know of.”
“Really?” She grinned.
“Yeah.” I picked at my jeans.
“What makes it so?”
“Everything. Your innocence, behavior, and facials. How you talk and see things… it’s a lot.” I whispered.
“Wow. Who’s that person?”
“Never mind. Can I kiss you?” I waited for a harsh reaction from her. I slap or something. That is what Mariana will do.
“You don’t have to ask but why?”
Fuck. She’s nowhere near my Mariana. She’s so decent but this girl isn’t. She’s an innocent slut. She must have the same features but they’re different and my girl is better.
“I want to see something,” I whispered and leaned into her. I’ve already seen what I want. I wanted to see if the feeling will be different even when I kiss her since they have similarities. It’s stupid of me and I’m a fool to be doing this for the wrong reasons but I want to see if she can make me feel what I feel with Mariana. It’s not like I like Kiara or I’m attracted to her. This is just a kiss.
I kissed her slowly. I didn’t feel anything but I heard a faint sound. I felt bad. I’m cheating. Cheating? Who am I cheating on? She broke up with me.
A second into the kiss and I feel disgusted. It was raw. There is no fire. Nothing like what I feel when I kiss Mariana.
“Donovan Anderson!!”
I separated away from her instantly as if a bomb was set between us. Guilt blanketed me coldly as I stared at a furious Mariana. What is she doing here?
Her hands fly up to reach my face but not anymore. She has not that right again.
I caught it and bored my eyes on her in rage. I’ve never looked this angrily at her before or with so much anger. There’s always been nothing but pure love in my eyes towards this girl but today I am so mad at her.
“Don’!” I said each work through my teeth.
She flinched and I dropped her hands.
I never want her to fear me no matter what.
“What.. have.. you done Novan?” She pointed faintly behind me at Kiara or whatever with tears pouring from her eyes. I instantly regret it.
“Mariana… I’” No. I’m not gonna apologize. She broke up with me and went out with some asshole.
“You’re what Novan?” Something close to what I think to be regret flashed in his face for a moment before anger took over again.
“Nothing! Get out of here! Don’t think you have that right over me.”
“Is that what you say? I caught you in this act and all you do is yell at me?”
He’s about to talk but the bitch got up and grabbed his hand. It didn’t help my state. I rushed forward and pushed her away from him.
“Don’t you dare touch him! He’s my husband okay. My husband.” I cried. “Get away from here!”
She was still standing there. “Novan please make her go before I do something that won’t be so me.”
“You don’t have to. I’m going.” She said. She’s so pretty and that annoys me the more and my jealousy is so large.
“Don’t call his name you low class bitch!” I pushed myself towards her. “Only I can call him that. Now leave from here and remember to never return.”
“Donovan. I hope to see you soon. Remember what I said. I’m here, always if you need me.” She wore her shoes.
“Bye Kiara.”
“Again, it’s Ciara.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
She smiled and I watched her leave. Once her back disappeared in the woods, I turned to Novan.
“So?” I stared into his face and he looked away then began to walk from me after wearing his boots.
“Novan.” I follow him.
He wouldn’t stop.
I ran and grabbed his arm to make him stop.
“What is it, Mariana. You broke up with me. Should I remind you of that?”. He brushed my hands away.
“So you can do anything?”
“Yes, if that’s what you want to hear.”
“I’m so disgusted in you Novan. It’s a pity you have no shame. Before we got married, I made it clear that you should break up with the girl you claim you’re dating but no. You didn’t stay home yesterday after leaving me at the altar then today I come to see you kissing a random girl. Shame on you Novan. Something that I can never do to you, you did to me. I will never forget this. You should mark it boldly somewhere and don’t expect my forgiveness ever. You’ll pay for doing this to me.”
“What did I do? Tell me, Mariana. You left me knowing you’re my life and I can’t do without you. You moved on. You fuckin did.”
“Yes, I thought I meant the world. That you couldn’t live without me but I barely took a step from you and you’re doing perfectly fine. You’re a liar Novan. A big one!”
“I’m not. You are! You’ve always wanted me out of your life so you took the opportunity when it came. You broke up with me then you went out to have dinner with some ugly ass today at some restaurant. You think I didn’t see it? That you’re cheating on me long ago? I’m more disappointed in you Mariana..”
What! Is he talking about Haiden? He saw me with him?
“You must be referring to the guy you saw me with at the chocolate shop and at a restaurant right? Well, I don’t know that guy and I only followed him because I spilled my drink on him and the only way to pacify him was coming with him to the restaurant. I didn’t even eat with him and I left not long after we entered. I don’t even know that guy and you’re here saying what? Nonsense and bullshit!” I screamed my lungs out.
“What? You don’t know him?”
“How will I know him? You know I don’t make friends with such people except you so how could you assume that of me and go acting like a stupid spoiled boy? You could’ve asked me first but you jumped into conclusions and came out here with an equally stupid girl to romance her…”
“No, I didn’t…”
“Keep quiet! You kissed her! You kissed her Novan. I can’t forget that. How could you? I’m supposed to be the only one for you. I will never do what you just did. Never. When you said you got a girlfriend, I didn’t take it to heart. I felt it somewhere deep down that you’re lying but now I know. You actually got a girlfriend. Also, I know it deep down that my Novan would never help his father against me and my family but right now, how am I supposed to believe and follow my heart? It will deceive me. You were my heart Novan but you keep deceiving me. I can’t fight for you anymore and I will never follow my heart. Henceforth whatever that will come from me will be from my head and right now my brain is saying you’re deceitful and a betrayer. You’re guilty of everything. Everything.”
“What are you saying, Mariana. Please.” He moved to touch me but I backed away.
“Don’t you fucking dare to touch me. Those hands you put on that girl. You never changed Novan. You still sleep around. How did I not know? I regret you.” I shook my head but the image of my boyfriend kissing some other girl won’t go away. How easy was it for him to just kiss someone? I could never do that.
“You said you didn’t want me anymore Mariana. I thought you meant it..”
“Foolish! Stupid! Silly! How can you say that? Yes, I broke up with you but it does not mean you can come and do this. It’s just a week. What you were supposed to do to get me back you didn’t do it but you did something that will keep me away from you forever. I broke up with you but my soul never did. I still love you as much. A lot. I didn’t stop loving you? How can I? I think of you every single day and night. And I’m always worried about you but it’s clear that you don’t think of me anymore. You got my replacement. Congratulations Donovan. Congratulations to your stupid ass for doing this to us. You broke us!.” I wiped my tears and walked away from him. I pulled my phone out to call my driver.
“Mariana, wait! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but it’s not what you think…”
“I don’t want to know Novan. God knows what else you did with her in this dark. You fingered her right? I know you like doing that a lot.”
“No. Don’t say that. I also don’t know the girl.”
“Yet you kissed her? I didn’t kiss that guy?”
“We were talking and I realized she’s more like you…”
“Hold on! Talking? What the hell were you talking to her about?”
“Us? Since when did you start doing that? We’ve always solved our problems so why should you come talk it out here with that girl. One more lousy lie from you and I swear I’m gonna throw something at you.”
“It’s the truth, Mariana. I told her some part of us..”
“And since when did you start talking to people? That’s not like you. How dare you talk about our problems with that bitch? Same way you told Aria all the things you ever said to me. Who are you?!”
“Mariana please you have to trust me…”
“Trust you? Did you trust me when you saw me with that guy? The best thing for you to do like my normal Novan is come there and beat that boy, scream at me and ask me why I have to do that. Not run here to your darling girlfriend. So low and childish. You don’t trust me. If you did, you’ll know Mariana will never break up with you just like that. You’ll know that it’s even impossible for us to be apart. I still love you and seeing this broke me. You cheated on me because you accepted our break-up.”
“God!” He grabbed his head. “I’m so sorry babe. Please… The kiss meant nothing…”
” I don’t care! Just think of how you’d have felt if you see me kissing Edward.” His eyes went wide and I began to run.
I just want to get far away from him as fast as I can.

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Updated: October 17, 2020 — 4:01 pm

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