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The Kiss… Episode 160

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{Loving him with all his flaws.}
What they did to me is nothing to be compared to what I did to Mariana. Just a kiss I hated. But their cruelty was set on a whole next level. They made my childhood miserable and ruined me.
“Mariana is a nice girl..”
“I know!” I snapped curtly.
“Let me land will you?”
“You have not right to talk to my girl talk of talking about it to me, Tricia.”
“You always manage to throw a fit but it doesn’t get to me.”
“Because you haven’t stood it for long.” I fired.
“Still, I’m your mom and the only one who could tolerate your tantrums forever.”
“Mom my bloody foot!” I deadpan mockingly. “You know what, you don’t deserve to be counted among moms. You know it. You’re so heartless and mean and I hate you so much. So so much. You couldn’t sacrifice for us, to give us happiness. The happiness that we needed. When we’re talking about mothers, please don’t fool yourself by coming. Safe your face.” I know these are splintering words but it’s as hell the fact. This woman chose her Russian boyfriend over her own flesh and blood. Low.
“That’s why I keep begging you. Honestly, I regret it Everett. I really do. I don’t know how to say this anymore. I acted so immaturely and I couldn’t protest when my in-laws were against me bringing my children. You know Vlad is a politician. The kind of things that go on and how I hardly stay in one place, Nervisa’s coming there won’t do her good and your father was on my neck even when I left. He wouldn’t let me be and he threatened me when I took Nervisa. A lot of factors worked against me Everett but I’m not blaming it on any. I know I didn’t try and now I just want another chance with you, my children.” She threw her face into her palms and began to sob.
“Don’t cry in my car or I leave you out here.” I threatened.
She looked up at me and I looked away, maintaining my hard countenance. I won’t allow her emotional state to get to me.
“How long do you intend to keep doing this?”
“As long as the pain you caused me lives and your face keeps being a reminder. The wound I sustained as a result of your cruelty didn’t heal and as you keep appearing and offering pathetic apologies, it keeps opening up, cutting deeper than before and it hurts me.” My eyes burned into misty liquids and I wiped my arm against my nose and looked ahead. I’m not gonna cry. I’ve done that a lot in the past. When I was that lonely sad boy who sits in a corner of our house, my small frame coiled into a ball to hide away from everything then cry my eyes out till I could cry no more and my tear tissues were tired and out of more fluid. And when I look around, all I see is my loneliness and the deafening quietness around me until Nervisa let’s out a loud cry when she’s hungry. There was no mom or dad. Just me and my little sister. I called for them in full tears but they weren’t moved. They didn’t show up. They were so cold and now that I’ve grown and actually don’t need them, they show up in fake tears to apologize. I don’t care about what anyone thinks. They could call me names for not having a forgiving heart because if they had gone through what I went through, even half of it, they wouldn’t spew nonsense and preach goddamn forgiveness to me. Everything is forgiving, yes but it won’t change what happened. That scar will always remain.
I don’t have a big problem with this woman but the fact that she sets her priorities clear to me by leaving us, I will never forget that. She prioritized over us. She showed me that her boyfriend was more important whereas I’m worthless of her. How can I forget that? I have no fucking clue.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry after all and I regret everything as much. Everything.”
” You’re supposed to.”
“Yes, but allow me to say what I wanted to. Take it from me as a stranger but not as your failed mom.
Mariana is a nice girl, please don’t ward her off with your belligerent attitude. You’ve always been like this since you were a kid…”
“If only you were around to correct that but you run off like a silly teenager to marry a fucking Russian. I am this way because of you, none of you should forget that when you decide to look around for who to blame. And I am trying okay. To be better. Don’t fucking annoy me by trying to advise me. Keep shut if you have nothing sensible to say you got it?!”
“Yes.” She wiped her tears and I do my best to keep my focus on the road. We’ve reached. I can’t wait to park and throw her out of my car.
“Allow me to talk, please. I just want you to be happy and this is my only chance to make that happen if there’s anything left at all for me to offer. You found a nice girl. Please treat her right and she’s going to stay forever. It will be hard but ‘letting go and giving up’ should be out of your dictionary. It’s going to be difficult but just keep trying. You hate rich people and you have your reasons and I’m sure difficult and stubborn is one of their traits because sometimes they think they have it all. I’m not saying she’s that way but whatever it is, just know that no one is perfect and keep trying to give and stay your best. I see how our irresponsibility is taking a big effect on your relationship. Please take care and even though I don’t have any right to say this, I have no choice. I love you son. And once again, I’m deeply sorry. I won’t stop trying to make you forgive me though. I won’t stop. Bye.” She opened the door but her eyes were on me.
“Get out!” My voice is sharp and harsh.
Unexpectedly, her hand rested on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. They move to touch my face and I swat her hand away.
She didn’t say anything else and got out. I’m supposed to drive off instantly but I stayed and watched her drag her luggage behind her slowly into the airport.
I felt empty. She’s leaving me yet again and again. My heart breaks as she disappeared and I felt like jumping out and running to hug her. It’s been so long and I miss her. No matter how much I deny it, I need her in my life. That mother figure. Even when Mariana stops to take my shits, I believe my mom won’t get tired of me and I will always run to lament about my problems to her and she will cool me down and make me rest my head on her lap and tell me that everything is gonna be fine.
I just wish my story was a different one.
I turned and drove back home where I’m going to meet that stubborn girl who has refused to make my life simple.
Can she not just forgive me and let us be happy? What did I even do?
She went out with Ed and I caught them in her office and I forgot about it. I’m still pissed though and I wish Edward’s mutilated face never heals. Next time he’ll think twice before coming close to my girl.
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I reached home in time, expecting to see her around but she was in bed.
“I’m back. Have you eaten?” I sat on the edge of the bed to take my boots off.
“You should remember to always take your heavy boots off at the door, not in the room.” She says without opening her eyes.
“Yes, but I didn’t get out. I mean I didn’t walk on the ground.”
“So there’s no dirt under it?”
Her cleanliness is also going to be another problem for us. What is wrong in taking my boots off in the room.
“I don’t see you taking yours off at the door.” I point out.
“Mine doesn’t accumulate dirt like yours and you don’t walk gently either. I doubt if you watch your steps. You can step in some poop and come smear it around. I won’t spare you.”
I smiled. It feels like forever since we bicker like this.
“You didn’t answer my question if you have eaten or not.”
“You’re not my mother. Don’t think I forgot about your unfaithfulness.”
I sighed and stayed quiet for a minute. Her eyes were still closed.
“Don’t you think you’re overdoing everything? I’ve been apologizing but you’re adamant. Tessa is forgiving so Hardin never suffers this much. She always forgives him for every little thing and even Christian’s Ana. Why are you being so hard on me when I’m not even half as bad as they are.”
“Stop relating us to those fictional characters. I told you.”
“How long?” I asked.
“How long is it going to take you to forgive me?” I need to know because my patience is fastly running out. I can’t keep doing this with her.
“I don’t know?”
“You don’t? How can you not know?” I almost raised my voice. Is she mad?
“Allow me to sleep please.”
This cunning girl. She fucking flipped the tables smartly on me with just that small ass mistake of mine and now she’s all high and mighty with a final say. If I hadn’t done that, she’s the one who will be at my feet begging for not trusting and leaving me.
I don’t know if I will keep doing this if she doesn’t put an end. I’m getting fed up gradually. Soon, I won’t be able to keep up. I’m tired of playing this begging game. It’s not fun.
“This is wickedness, Mariana. We’ve always solved our problems. Why’s this keeping so long?”
She didn’t answer me. Her eyes were closed with a frown. Seems she is feeling some pains. Is she bleeding?
I got out and asked Sharon if Mariana has come down to eat and she said no. I prepared breakfast for her and took it all the way up.
“Mariana, get up, and eat something.”
“I don’t feel like eating?”
“Are you sick?”
“I don’t know.”
I put my hand over her forehead again and her temperature was no longer as drastic but it’s still there.
“Are you on your period?” Apart from normal sickness, I learned menstruation is another special sickness for just girls.
Her cheeks reddened and she buried them in the pillow in embarrassment I guess.
“You get so comfortable in saying that.”
“It’s just some blood. I can talk about it.”
“That’s the problem. This is a woman thing and you just say it as if it’s nothing.”
“It’s actually nothing. I told you I don’t mind a few bloods.” She groaned at the familiar words and my mind flys back to the sex we had under the shower when she was bleeding. It wasn’t bad.
“It’s okay Novan.”
“Then get up and eat something if you don’t want me to keep talking about blood.”
“No, I don’t wanna eat.”
“Come on babe, I took my time in preparing this and it’s so bloody deliscious.”
“Ahhh” she covered her ears and I laughed.
“Oh no! Didn’t you wear any tampons? You fuckin stained my bed with your menstrual blood.” I screamed and she jumped off the bed and began to check.
“Really? Where?” She squeaked.
“Just come and eat.”
“So I didn’t stain?”
How did she not know?
“I was just fucking kidding with you. Now come and eat.”
She sighed and crawled to the tray I placed on the bed.
She stared at the food with no interest before taking a bite of the muffin and chewing it slowly with a wiggled nose.
She picked tea over the cereal I made and drank it slowly as well.
I helped myself to the cereal. (same cereal or couldn’t take some days back) and watched her struggle to swallow while making faces.
She looks like someone who’s ready to vomit on our bed any minute.
She didn’t finish breakfast before sleeping back on the bed.
“Is it your period? I can get you some pain relievers.”
“No, I don’t know what is wrong actually. I guess I’m just stressed. I will be okay after taking proper rest. Don’t worry about me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
“Won’t you go to school?”
“Not today. You don’t seem to be fine. How can I go and leave you?”
“Sharon is around.”
“She’ll go to work. I’m sure she already left.” She was dressed up and ready to leave when I got down.
“Still, I will be fine.” Her eyes closed and her breathing is so deep.
“What actually is wrong with you?” I’m worried. I don’t like this at all. Mariana is maybe is sick. Her skin is damp. Her cheeks and lips are not left out. They’re so pale and her image is so frail. Once again I hate this. I don’t like this one tiny bit. I’m going mad.
“I’m having a headache also.”
“I think you have to see a doctor,” I said to her.
“No, I’m fine ”
‘I will strangle you’
“No, you’re not!” I got up and put the tray down. I cursed, biting my tongue when it hit the table louder than I planned. Such a jerk I am. This is going to increase her headache.
“Go out Novan.” She glowered at me.
I said it. Her headache must’ve increased.
“We need to got to the hos…”
“Get out I say! Go make yourself useful and let me sleep.” She turned her back to me and hugged the pillow close.
“Okay.” She’s so stubborn. I threw one look at her, at her peaceful yet breathtaking face before going out. She’s pretty even when sick. My sleeping beauty.
I fetched my phone from my pocket to call any of my asshole of friends but stopped. They’re all dicks, not proper people you can talk to. Nina will also just lure me into getting high with her. A crazy-ass fellow. She said I should get myself useful. What can I do? I should be in class but that’s not important now. I could clean but it’s already done by Sharon and the cleaners who come to clean thrice in a week. I could learn but I have no interest. I wonder why Paula madam hasn’t called me.
Fuck. Since when did I start looking forward to her calls. That woman is probably done with me. I should forget her but… should I tell her that her daughter is sick? No. That will only show that I can’t take of her. I won’t tell her anything. I went to the kitchen and disposed of the pizza and cake I invested my all into. It has gone to waste and I didn’t get the praises I would’ve got if she had just a taste or bite.
After moving about the house aimlessly for some hours, I went back in and lay beside her. My eyes are heavy from not having enough sleep last night. I got my wallet out and pulled the drawer beside the bed then got the Nook she gave me out. I switched it on and began to read through some Chinese recipes. This is so thoughtful of her and yet I haven’t been able to give her anything yet. I opened my wallet and got the personalized chain she got me out and admired the glistening piece that cost a lot of fortunes.
I touched my lips and brows and got my metals out. She doesn’t know that I don’t have the diamonds she got me on. I’m gonna attract robbers if I should put millions of dollars in my face. I will be a number one target for every thief in this vicinity and beyond. I can’t risk my life at the same time increase theft.
I put them in but removed it again. They’re too expensive. I will put them on some other time. I put my old ones back in then put the chain back in my wallet.
I pushed towards her and brushed her damp skin. “Please forgive me quickly. I can not take this anymore. I need you.” I whispered.
I closed my eyes and welcomed sleep at midday. This must be a sick joke. I can’t remember the last time.
I didn’t want to post this because I’m not done with this chapter but then…I didn’t want to keep you waiting…
Guys, I’m sorry for how slow this is going…I have so much doing and I think I might be leaving you guys after this…
Don’t panic… we’ll talk more in the next chapter…

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Updated: October 17, 2020 — 4:06 pm

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14 days ago

Jeez this is too much suspense and things are becoming hot underground please don’t kill me and do something tomorrow thanks and I look you and your great knowledge

Ayishetu Abukari
13 days ago

Mariana should also doing shakara now and life a happy life. But I still don’t know why Jude did what he. Is he actually paying mariana and the family after all that she has done for him or he wants them together as one? Please I want to know

Ayishetu Abukari
13 days ago

But I can’t wait to see the end of this story πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Infact I will have been happy if you could post 30 episodes a day.πŸ™„πŸ§πŸ₯°πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜Ž

12 days ago

I can’t wait for the end of this story, this suspense is too much. Marianas should just allow her husband to be

Ayishetu Abukari
11 days ago

We are waiting

9 days ago

Pls we are waiting for d next

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